Why I Disappeared

I’ve started a blog explaining my disappearance a million times. I find myself getting irritated and walking away. In fact, I just listened to the podcast of the service that made me leave and I’m angry all over again… Apparently, everything I ever do will be out of selfish ambitions (Nearly verbatim what the pastor said.) According to him, I am incapable of true love because I don’t believe in God.
It’s one thing to say you shouldn’t love “this way” (Same-sex marriage) and a completely different thing to say you aren’t “capable” of truly loving anything. According to that service my love for my son has a selfish ulterior motive, my love for my husband has a selfish ulterior motive, my love for the rest of my family and friends has a selfish ulterior motive… Heck, there’s some warped selfish ulterior motive to loving my dogs (Maybe it’s the urine pedicure my not-house-broken dog treats me to in the morning).After all of the incredible people I met, a statement like that really makes a person step back and think… All the smiles, the friendliness, the welcoming, the acceptance – Was it all an act? Are they all just being fake? I’d say I loved going, but ya know, the pastor says I’m not capable of it (Can you read the irritation in that?) After that service I left just feeling like I had been conned. It was an uncalled for statement/tangent. It was self-aggrandizing. And quite frankly, I haven’t been able to find one other Christian person that stood behind that statement.

On to checking out Royal Rangers and Awana in hopes that they’re a little more humble.

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